2008

‘I started to contemplate my greatness, and the hero’s welcome that I expected to receive on my return home: the crowd on the pier, an interview with Fancy That magazine, a message from the government.’

• © the artist. Courtesy the artist.

2008

‘I let off my gun in fright and a bullet ricocheted off the mountainside, missing the beast completely but awaking my companion, who came rushing around the corner to find me with a smoking barrel and the Aleph. When Johnny saw the creature he circled around it a couple of times eyeing it, then he walked up close and lay his head on its body. He stood motionless for a few moments as if listening for something, and declared it dead.’

• © the artist. Courtesy the artist.

2007

‘The Avenue of the Gods is the boulevard which leads to the Plane of the Gods, and the site of a lively bazaar. At about its midpoint it doglegs at a square named the Place of the Rout of the If’en, being approximately the site where the If’en were ignominiously subdued during the initial conquests of the continent. There is no better way of getting to know the Island and its people than by visiting the market.’

• Collection Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art, Edinburgh
• © the artist.

2006

‘Of the Gods, it is said that they are innumerable. That is not to say that they are a multitude, indeed they are relatively few. The Gods are positioned most ostentatiously and with great permanence on the Plane, within walking distance of town. There are the August Snakes who stand erect, as that is how their beards may best be admired. They have attracted a cult following and have their own prayer.’

• Collection Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art, Edinburgh
• © the artist

2006

‘The most sexually attractive of all the Gods are the identical twins, Theodora and Dorothea.  Not twin sisters as might be assumed, but an altogether more miraculous phenomenon: twin cousins. Although Dorothea and Theodora are identical, they are the exact opposite of one another. That is to say, if she is to the right of you she is Theodora, and if she is to the left of you she is Dorothea. If you see her straight on it is impossible to tell Theodora and Dorothea apart, and nobody has ever seen them together.’

• Collection Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art, Edinburgh
• © the artist.

2006

‘Duculi (The Indescribable) is the least worshipped of all the Gods. For days on end he is locked in a violent struggle, seemingly desperate to rip himself asunder, until he eventually collapses in exhaustion only to resume the ght once more after some hours of repose, during which time, from some unknowable source, he has revived himself.’

• Collection Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art, Edinburgh
• © the artist.

2006

‘After an afternoon ambling through the market our tourist will no doubt frequent one of the taverns around the port that provide bush meat and beer, before tottering onto the cruiser that will convey him back to Triangleland, as the Islanders disparagingly call the outside world.’

• Collection Hamilton Corporate Finance Limited
• © the artist

2008

‘For a long time it was believed that there was only one Aleph: Nul, who ruminates on the Plane of the Gods.  Aleph Nul was held by some to be the only descendent of the Noumenon, to be its worldly face, the embodiment of existence and the arch phenomenon. This remained the popular conception until a herd, comprised of a bull, two cows and a calf, was discovered on one of the remote Planes to the north of the Island.’

• © the artist. Courtesy the artist.

2008

‘I ventured into the darkness and lost all sense of space. I could hear a Ridable barking but it was distant and in all directions. I pushed on aimlessly for hours as there was nothing else to be done. I could not feel the steppe for my feet were frozen stumps.’

• © the artist. Courtesy of the artist.