Fur Coat an' Nae Knickers

  • Paintings
    40 min
    7 works
  • Pit yer lug tae ma gob and listen tae ma clypin’ din! Dinnae miss the gems hidden in this midden. I hae nae shame an’ neither dae the braw Scotties that I here besmirch.

Scottish National Portrait Gallery / Second floor

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  • 4-5
  • 6
Portrait Second floor
  • 1

    Mary, Queen of Scots, 1542 - 1587. Reigned 1542 - 1567, by an unknown artist

    Look intae these een! Dae we see here the greetin’ faitherless bairn – her faither fa’s deid when she wis six days auld – or the shameless hure o’ Babylon? Her first man wis a sickly Frenchie, her second a syphyllitic souse - blown tae bits, an her third wis a brutal, foul-moothed two-timer. Whit a woman! An whit’s mair, thir’s talk o’ her dancin’ the reel o’ Bogie wae her Italian secretary.

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    Location: Scottish National Portrait Gallery / Second floor / Gallery 1

  • 2

    John Knox, 1505 - 1572. Reformer and historian, from Theodore Beza’s Icones, after Adrian Vanson

    Lord, behold a pious man…one o’ yir ain electit…but whae wid stoop tae try tae murther guid Cardinal Beaton. Fir this cheek he wis made tae feel the lash, chained tae an oar fir 18 months in a French galley. His accusers’ claimed he wis a pillie-wantoun, mixin’ his moggans wae twa wives an a selection o’ strumpets, aw the whiles blastin’ yon trumpet at the monstrous regiment o’ wimmen.

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    Location: Scottish National Portrait Gallery / Second floor / Gallery 1

  • 3

    Prince Charles Edward Stuart, 1720 - 1788. Eldest son of Prince James Francis Edward Stuart, by Hugh Douglas Hamilton

    Look at him noo… he could’ve bin a contender, the heid-bummer. He wis born tae be Britannia’s ruler but noo he’s puir wasted, wae blue blood spent and ruby claret coursin’ through his veins. He sees oot his days under the Roman sun moaning fir his croon, his wives and concubines, a deid son and a daughter lost. But he does’nae need your sympathy, for he’s the one an’ only, the ‘Young Pretender’.

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    Location: Scottish National Portrait Gallery / Second floor / Gallery 4

  • 4

    Robert Burns, 1759 - 1796. Poet, by Alexander Nasmyth

    Wae hoo many did ye get the smit? A whole clanjamfry, owre mony tae coont. Black burning shame be upon ye! Ye must hae hud some wheedle and fluister tae winch aw’ those bonny buirdies doon fae the birks. Wheesht noo, here’s one whae willnae fa’ fir the skimmer o’ yer een.

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    Location: Scottish National Portrait Gallery / Second floor / Gallery 7

  • 5

    James Hogg, 1770 - 1835. Poet; 'The Ettrick Shepherd', by Sir John Watson Gordon

    Faimish and toothit like the ram upon the hill, he has grazed till stuffit oan spectres and bogies, whae noo bide at his doubled hert. Churchyairds and graves are his pasture, fu’ o’ murdered saints, cut-throat Cavaliers and virgin lassies. Forsooth, his jaw is sair, and his belly heftit wae the spirits which wilnae pass doon history’s chute.

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    Location: Scottish National Portrait Gallery / Second floor / Gallery 7

  • 6

    Queen Victoria, 1819 - 1901. Reigned 1837 - 1901, by Franz Xaver Winterhalter

    Whae can thole the grief o’ a widow left wae a set o’ bairns like the steps and stairs? Whae will help ye up intae the saddle and whae can rummel the feelings that were stirred by yer bonny German prince? John Broon wis thon’ Hieland swain. Thae orphans kent him as “Mama’s lover” – yer bide’in ben the room next door. The story is telt ye wir buried clutchin’ a lock o’ his braw hair, wae his mither’s wedding ring oan yer imperial finger. So I’ll say nae mair.

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    Location: Scottish National Portrait Gallery / Second floor / Gallery 9

Scottish National Portrait Gallery / Ground floor

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Portrait Ground floor
  • 7

    Sir James Matthew Barrie, 1860 - 1937. Author, by Sir William Nicholson

    Wee minds dwell ahint the net o’ wee toon windaes, minds that mak’ a shrine o’ tea an’ scones, and pennies in the plate. In sic a toon wis wee Jimmy born. Poor saul, he wis the scratchings o’ the poke, his mammy keenin’ oan his deid elder brither. But fae the flight o’ his pen Wendy hovered doon tae nurse aw’ lost and lonely boys wae faraway eyes – yon canny enough to be spared thir’ ain shadows.

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    Location: Scottish National Portrait Gallery / Ground floor / Café

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